The 'Feminine Art' of Diplomacy?
It's not so simple. Plus: Kicking off Women's History Month In Conversation with Melanne Verveer & Melinda Crowley, and ICYMI: Rachna Korhonen
Women have typically been labeled as more skilled peacemakers and yet a parallel perception has persisted that professional diplomacy is ideally suited for men.
Think a Clark Kent-type in khakis masterfully engaging in statecraft with a Cohiba in hand or walking through sand dunes in conversation with a sheikh like a modern-day Lawrence of Arabia. It’s partly why too many women, and particularly women of color, haven’t been a part of the larger narrative, but they should be. In fact, a number of the women I’ve spoken to both for this newsletter and the upcoming book, STATESWOMEN, have risen to the top of their profession despite being told they didn’t belong; told they didn’t “look the part,” and despite being mistaken for the spouse of the ambassador again and again and again.
Aside from three women (out of 71) who have served as secretaries of state, it’s startling to realize how overlooked—even to insiders—so many of America’s faces to the world remain at home. But they know each other—even in retirement, even on the passport desk in Micronesia. In the grand diplomatic tradition of Thomas Jefferson, Ben Franklin — and invisible women everywhere throughout history — the back channel is strong.
And some women diplomats will say that their gender has turned out to be an extraordinary asset. Clare Boothe Luce, the first U.S. woman appointed to a major ambassador post, argued at the time that “women have been skilled in diplomacy for thousands of years,” adding: “diplomacy is a feminine art.” And what Luce and others, more recently, point to are what they view as innate skills — attention to detail, patience, listening to all sides — that serve an envoy well. But such binary notions are never without a counterpoint and there are plenty who have argued (and may argue still) that diplomacy rests on the shoulders of men who, they’ll say, naturally engage in skilled and controlled communication. On one hand, that’s code for “don’t get too emotional.” On the other, relying on gender as a barometer for effective peacekeeping will be fraught regardless.
While it may seem counterintuitive, I’m not particularly interested in telling stories that ascribe gendered attributes to fitness for the Foreign Service (one way or another). Far more engaging and consequential (from, perhaps, a nurture rather than nature lens) are the lived experiences of those who are representing (all of) America to the world. The motivations, the preparation, the life-long curiosity, the self-assurance, jealousy or privilege, and even the face-plant moments — those are what make up a career.
And at the root of everything you will read here is this: an imperative to trouble the narrative that some people’s skills and experiences are the default and everyone else’s will be defined against them.
This Women’s History Month and International Women’s Day, think of Our Women in the World as a home for stories that fill holes in the narrative. First up, Ambassador Melanne Verveer, Melinda Crowley, a political officer at the department, and Rachna Korhonen, the first woman to be the U.S. Consul General in Dhahran, speak candidly about the skills they’ve cultivated and the ways in which being very good at their jobs have had tangible impacts on communities that have too often been overlooked, misunderstood, or ignored. They also reflect on the ways in which the life and work for women diplomats, especially women of color, is often harder and more vital than anyone realizes. In learning their stories, my hope is you will see modern American diplomacy laid out in full.
Below please enjoy short excerpts. Paid subscribers will be able to read the entire conversations.
With your background and being able to assess foreign and domestic, economic and social advancement, at what point did the role of women come into play?
Working on civil rights, I worked with women from the National Women’s Law Center, the Partnership on Women & Families, the Children’s Defense Fund. These were all issues that were not unfamiliar. Similarly, as I sunk my teeth into foreign policy matters, I quickly realized that the lessons are without borders. But the real thrust of this commitment to focusing on women’s issues as global women’s issues revolved around the Beijing Women’s Conference, which was 25 years ago this year.
When [then-First Lady Hillary Clinton] got up and made that speech about women’s rights being human’s rights and human rights being women’s rights, I was backstage with our speechwriter, watching the audience reaction. As she went through a litany of violations against women from honor killings to dowry burnings in some parts of the world, to domestic violence and rape as a tool of war, to human trafficking and other things, she said “this is a violation of human rights.”
This was life’s work for many people. And it was as though as she said that she took their struggles and said they’re all of our struggles, this is all part of a whole. It ended in this crescendo when the whole place in a very staid UN setting, which never happens, it just convulsed into this sustained applause for what she had said.
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When and how did you know you would be at home in the world?
It begins really with the National Geographic magazines that were a fixture in my grandparents’ home. You explore the world, learn about new cultures and how they organize their lives. My mom also introduced me to the culture of pen pals. Again, we’re young and we’re seeing things that are totally different than how we live. Growing up, what seemed like ordinary moments along the way, when you thread them together, they really now add up to extraordinary experiences and opportunities that taught me not to fear what is different than me and foster a can-do attitude where my family really unleashed in me the potential to really be comfortable in the world and to venture out in the world with confidence.
But if I had to pick one: I was on an independent study program through Syracuse University and Zimbabwe, Mozambique and South Africa. And it was led by an African woman.
I wanted to be introduced to Africa the first time by an African.
As an African-American, I romanticized the stories, the notions, and what I had was completely different. So I was part of this special team of students that she took. And we were at this village and we were in Zimbabwe and the local women started dancing. Well, I took dance all my life. I knew the dance. And I joined in. I couldn’t believe it. With African dance in the states, you always think, “is this really African or is this just a way to label it?” And so that moment, I realized, “OK, I’m home.”
This has been a short excerpt. Paid subscribers will be able to read the entire conversation, which will be sent in a newsletter on Monday.
What would most surprise someone on the outside about your favorite part of living and working abroad?
People, of course. Being able to represent the United States.
Most people don’t believe I am an American and then I open my mouth and then it becomes quite clear.
What are some of the moments that stand out to you when you felt fully "in the zone" in terms of your ideas or accomplishments?
I was the first women to be the Consul General at our Consulate in Dhahran. After a presence of 75 years, we sent a woman to represent us. And we picked the absolute best time to do it. Saudi Arabia was going through momentous social changes (still is) and I was in the right job, in the best place, at the best time possible.
I arrived to “you are not invited to something because you are a woman” and I left with “we really want you to visit, how do we make it happen” — I helped that change happen along with my team in Dhahran and with the Embassy’s support.
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